Holiday Tips Catered to Your Attachment Style

Holiday Tips Catered to Your Attachment Style, Good Things Utah Segment

By: Ashley & Laurin, CEOs

VIDEO HERE!

What is“Attachment”?

We all have an innate desire to connect with others and feel a sense of belonging, we first begin to learn how to attach at birth from our two primary caregivers. This is essentially what sets the tone of how you manage and engage in relationships through adulthood.

What is an “Attachment Style”?

There are four basic styles of attachment: Secure (this is the goal), Anxious (clingy, needy), Avoidant (surface connection), Disorganized (I need you but don’t come too close).

Holiday Tips for Anxious Attachment:

  • Maintain sense of self
    • People Pleasing habits may get in the way of wanting others’ approval, instead doing activities you love to maintain a sense of self.
  • Practice Personal Boundaries
    • Controlled detachment to allow yourself to enjoy the emotional aspects of the holidays while not trying to control the outcome

Holiday Tips for Avoidant Attachment:

  • Look for and focus on the elements you love about the holidays
    • Try not to overthink about the hesitations you may have about one thing or another, rather look forward to an individual you are excited to see, the festive foods, or the quirky holiday music.
  • Plan social engagement/conversations.
    • If you know who will be attending the event, plan things you would like to know about them and have follow up questions, closing questions and perhaps some ways to excuse yourself (learn to organically lead and close conversations)
  • Reward yourself with alone time
    • You may feel overwhelmed after socializing so much so plan to relax after you event and that may help you in feeling more motivated to go

Holiday Tips for Disorganized Attachment:

  • Start small!
    • Plan to meet up with family before a bigger event, connect with someone you are comfortable with first at the party
  • Remember to not accept your fears about what may happen as fact
    • Try to see yourself in a positive light, Fear: “I will be so awkward, nobody will want to talk to me”. Challenge the Fear: “People have talked to me at these events in the past, there is no reason why this time will be different.”.
  • You do not have to do it all, Protect Your Mental Health
    • Use your best judgment to know if a certain event will be beneficial to you (and your family), it does not matter the pressure or guilt you may be receiving from others- make you a priority. 

To learn more about these things, how to better apply them, or how to apply these tips and tricks to help your kids and grandkids visit our website and read more on our blog.

We also offer in person and telehealth appointments to help individuals, couples and families to achieve their goals.

Overcoming Holiday Burnout

Overcoming Holiday Burnout

By: Kyra Littledike, CSW, Logan Office Therapist

Do the holidays not seem to be as magical as they once were? Do you feel more dread than joy as you watch the holiday decorations and festivities make their re-appearance?

It is no secret that the holiday season can be both a happy and overwhelming time for everyone. However, they can be more overwhelming and difficult for those who are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and grief.

In preparation for the 2022 holiday season, we want to give you five tips to help you avoid holiday burnout so you can be more present and engaged with the ones you love.

Tip #1: You Can Say No

It is important to be realistic in the expectations you have for yourself and others in periods of increased stress. The holidays can demand more time and money than we may really have to offer. Though it is uncomfortable, it is okay to say no and set limits on what you can/are willing to do. It is okay if you cannot realistically attend the three holiday parties you were invited to or buy a present for every house in your neighborhood.

Tip #2: Take Breaks

Having more on your holiday to-do list and a jam-packed schedule full of holiday activities naturally steals away from downtime. Be intentional about scheduling some breaks, even if it is just to watch your favorite Christmas movie.

Time with family also increases during the holiday season. While this is a fun time to reconnect with those we may not see often, it can result in conflict and boundary violations. When anxiety or frustration may start to rise, take a ten-to-fifteen-minute break or walk outside to regulate.

Tip #3: Create/Maintain Traditions

Family and personal traditions bring a lot of excitement and meaning to the holiday season. Prioritizing meaningful traditions can help you in building connections and bring you closer to the ones you love. Choose to create and maintain traditions that spark joy and excitement within you. They will likely create memories that you will lovingly reflect on even when the season is over.

Tip #4: Take Care of Yourself

As the stress of the holiday season increases, self-care can quickly decrease. Staying emotionally regulated and completing the tasks and demands of the season are going to feel impossible if you are not fully rested, providing your body with the nutrition it needs, and staying hydrated. Even taking time to exercise thirty minutes a day, can help in improving mood, increasing motivation, and decreasing potential holiday weight gain.

Tip #5: Ask for Help

The holidays are more enjoyable when surrounded by the ones you love. Do not be afraid to reach out and ask those around you for help. We do not have to do things alone and often there is someone that is ready and willing to help; we just have to ask. The professionals at Connections Family Wellness are also here to help you in managing your holiday blues.

For additional information, you can contact us at (801) 871-5118.

We wish you a happy holiday season!

Grief Yoga: Moving Through Loss with Love

Hosted By Connections Family Wellness’ therapist, Grief Yoga® certified teacher, and sound healer Angie Shultz

Transforming Grief into Empowerment
a healing experience using movement, breath, and sound.
Why talking about grief may not be enough to heal it
Grief lives in the body. No matter how many times you tell yourself all the “right” things in your head, you may still feel loss lurking in your chest, the pit of your stomach, and the knots in your shoulders. The emotion stored in your tissues can keep you awake at night, disrupt your moods, and hijack your relationships. Movement can mobilize that energy and transmute it, allowing you to heal.

What if I’m not very athletic?

Grief Yoga® is for people of all ages and fitness levels. The goal isn’t to turn you into a pretzel or build physical strength and endurance. Instead, the focus is on emotional transformation. The movements can be done either from a chair or a yoga mat.

What can I expect at a Grief Yoga® class?

It’s not your typical yoga class! Grief Yoga® draws from many different traditions, including hatha, yin, kundalini, laughter yoga, and dance your yoga, and combines them in a way unlike any of the original forms. Every class is the opportunity for a deep emotional journey. We will use movement breath and sound to connect to your feelings of loss, witness and express them, and then shift into feelings of connection and peace.
Every class ends with a relaxing crystal bowl sound bath.
What is a sound bath?
There is no water involved! A sound bath is a form of healing in which crystal bowls of various sizes are played by an experienced practitioner. The patterns of vibration promote relaxation and stress reduction.

When are classes available?
Three and four-session packages of grief yoga are offered at regular intervals at ConnectionsFamily Wellness 965 S 100 W Suite 106 Logan, Utah. Call for the next start date. (801) 871-5118.
Offered by Angie Schultz, CSW, RYT-200, Grief Yoga® certified teacher, and sound healer

Midweek Mindfulness at Connection Family Wellness

Hosted by Connections Family Wellness’ therapist and mindfulness expert Angie Shultz

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by hassles and obligations? Do your stress levels keep inching up as the week goes on? Do you sometimes find yourself checking out, or going through life on autopilot, just to get through the day? What if there were an easy, inexpensive way to check back in? To feel fully engaged with the people around you? To start really savoring your own life? Midweek Mindfulness at Connections Family Wellness could be just what you are looking for.

Is This Class for Me?

So, what does a mindfulness class look like? Midweek Mindfulness at Connections Family Wellness is a fun blend of practical techniques like guided meditation and conscious movement that bring you back in tune with yourself. Most class sessions also include a crystal bowl sound bath. It’s a great way to reset when the busy week has you feeling scattered or uncentered.

Why Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the state of being fully connected with your own inner and outer experiences. Because it helps with brain function and therefore productivity, many Fortune 500 companies have begun offering mindfulness-based trainings to their executives. Since it works equally well at helping reduce feelings of
stress, anxiety, and depression, it’s also a cornerstone of many popular approaches to mental health therapy. But the biggest pull of mindfulness practice for most people is that it helps them to feel more present, grounded, and joyful. It’s a practice for those who want to feel fully human.

What Else Can Mindfulness Help With?

Mindfulness has been shown in research to help improve sleep, reduce chronic pain, reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, and improve mood. It has been shown to help reduce aggressive behavior and increase compassion levels. It can even improve your ability to focus, enhance brain functioning, and increase the volume of gray matter in your brain. So be careful! Getting started with a mindfulness practice at Connections Family Wellness might just inspire you to bring mindfulness into your daily life, and that could have big results.

How do I Get Started?

Spaces are limited. Call 801 871 5118 to reserve your spot. Each session is only $10. Classes are held Wednesdays from 9:15-10:15 at the Connections Family Wellness Logan office: 10654 South River Heights Drive, Suite 106.
Offered by Angie Schultz, CSW, RYT-200.

Teen Self-Esteem Group

Hosted By Connections Family Wellness’ therapist & teen expert Kyra Littledike

Learning to navigate life as a teen is hard and oftentimes confusing. Among the many difficulties teens face, low self-esteem is one of the most common and devastating. Struggles with self-esteem may leave teens feeling inadequate, misunderstood, and lonely. However, your journey to a healthier self-esteem does not have to be taken alone and can begin today! 

Connections Family Wellness is excited to help you in taking steps to boost your self-esteem this summer with our 8-week self-esteem group. Join us weekly as we complete many activities to strengthen participants’ confidence in boundary setting, assertiveness, positive self-talk, and self-care. Group participants will also work with group therapist on identifying and discussing the many internal and external influences that impact our self-esteem daily with emphasis on social media use.

Becoming a happier, healthier, more confident version of yourself is possible! Please call (801) 871-5118 to register and we look forward to seeing you at 6:00 PM 

Gratitude Workshop

Hosted by Connections Family Wellness with Guest Expert Steph Anderson

As thanksgiving approaches we wanted to create a space where we can gather in gratitude. When you think of gratitude what comes to your mind? Do you think of writing a list, a song from your childhood, a book, or something you are grateful for? 

As gratitude has been studied the research shows that people who live in gratitude are often more happy, peaceful and helpful contributors of society. These findings are lovely truths about gratitude. What the scientific research may not say is that gratitude is a power. It’s a power that offers change and transformation. Through the power of gratitude one can begin to change and transform the body and mind. Gratitude can heal. 

The Power of Gratitude Workshop is designed and created for you to experience and feel the power of gratitude. We will focus on gratitude for yourself, who you are, what you’ve accomplished and the beauty of your life.

You may experience joy and light when you walk away from this experience. Give yourself the gift of self love by expressing and feeling gratitude for yourself this November. 

Stephanie Andersen, an intuitive healing guide will lead this workshop along with ___. We will practice yoga, meditation, guided imagery and a gong bath. Bring your journal as you may want to record your experience.

If you are interested in signing up for this workshop you can call us at (801) 871-5118 or click here to book online.

Process & Release Anxiety & Fear Workshop

Hosted by Connections Family Wellness with Guest Expert Steph Anderson

Do you feel anxious about your life, your job, your purpose? Are you afraid to make decisions and choices because you don’t know what is best for you? Do you fear sickness, death or the unknown? Are you worried you aren’t good enough to try something new? Do you feel stress in your body? Do you feel heaviness in your chest? Do you breath from your chest?

Anxiety is experienced and felt differently for everyone. It can be a fast heart beat, pressured or struggle breathing, racing thoughts about the same thing, heaviness in chest, inability to move forward or feeling stuck and nervous or jittery. Often times anxiety comes from our thoughts, our fears, our mindset. It can be tricky to see and know this as they are in our subconscious mind playing on repeat. 

Process and Release Anxiety and Fear Workshop is a 2 part workshop – to dive deep into healing, work on changes incrementally and build upon what we learn.

With intuitive healing facilitator Stephanie Andersen we will use the tools of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, guided imagery, gong bath and guided journaling, we will identify and release these fears and anxieties from the subconscious mind so you can live more freely in your true self. 

You will walk away with tools to use at home on a daily basis, greater sense of inner peace, ability to let go, and freedom to be your true whole self. 

Find inner peace. Find inner joy. Find your true self. 

If you are interested in signing up for this workshop you can call us at (801) 871-5118 or click here.

Self-Love Mini Retreat

Self-Love Mini Retreat

You are enough.


Just you. The one with the insecurities. The one who sees her own flaws and inadequacies as though through a magnifying glass. The one who sometimes struggles to really love herself.


Yes, you.


You are deserving of care and tenderness.


The Connections Family Wellness mini-retreat is here to help you step into experiencing self-compassion. We will explore the science behind self-compassion: how research shows that learning to love yourself will help you to be stronger, more resilient, more productive, and
more empathetic. Then we’ll do a deep dive into experiencing self-love.


Transformative Yoga


Not your traditional yoga class! This journey into healing can be taken from a chair or a yoga mat, by people of all fitness levels. We will use movement, breath, and sound to transform pain and create space for greater love and connection. This is a process of emotional liberation rather than physical fitness. Based on the pioneering
work of Paul Dennison, this model draws from many yogic traditions, including kundalini, laughter yoga, dance your yoga, and hatha yoga, vinyasa yoga, and restorative yoga. It was also informed by the grief and trauma research of David Kessler and Peter Levine.


Crystal Singing Bowl Sound Bath


We will take a guided sound journey using the healing vibrations of crystal singing bowls. Sound healing promotes relaxation by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. Because each
bowl is tuned to a different chakra, this experience also invites balance and integration. And we will do it all with a special focus on love.


Group Reiki Healing


Reiki is an energy healing technique shown to increase relaxation and reduce stress, pain, and anxiety. It is used as a complementary practice at many hospitals, hospices, and pain clinics. You can read more about research into the effectiveness of reiki here. As a group experience,
this will be a mini version of what might be experienced in a full energy healing session.


More


We will use journaling, meditation, and movement to process emotion and connect more deeply to ourselves in a powerful and compassionate way.


For You, For the World

Self-compassion heals you. In the process, it ripples out to heal everyone else you come into contact with. The more you are loving, balanced, and at peace, the more you will also be naturally empathetic, resilient, and strong. This is your opportunity to love yourself, and love
the world.


The next retreat date is June 18, 2022, 1-5pm. Please call (801) 871-5118 to register.

4 Steps To Improve Connection With Your Teenager

4 Steps To Improve Connection With Your Teenager

therapist south jordan

One of the common phrases I hear in my therapy office is ‘My teenager is struggling and I don’t
know what to do!’ I reach into my toolkit and pull out these 5 strategies to help these parents in
crisis.

  1. Reaffirm Attachment Connection
  2. Increase Connection
  3. Balance expectations and demandingness
  4. Learn to manage your own emotions and decrease reactivity
  5. Schedule/Plan regular quality time together

Reaffirm Attachment Connection


The more I work with kids and teens, the more I realize that teens are very similar to infants. I know. I know. I just said teens are babies, but hear me out. Based on the stage of their brain development, adolescents are more likely to:


– act on impulse
– misread or misinterpret social cues and emotions
– get into accidents of all kinds
– get involved in fights
– engage in dangerous or risky behavior


Adolescents are less likely to:


– think before they act
– pause to consider the consequences of their actions
– change their dangerous or inappropriate behaviors


Have you ever seen a toddler dive off a kitchen counter or barstool? Your teen is effectively doing the same just with larger and more consequential situations. Why? To see if you will be
there to catch them. I believe that children need attachment reaffirmation each time they hit a different developmental stage.

Newborn – will mom/dad be there to feed me?

Toddler – will they catch me?

School age child – will they be at my soccer game/pick me up from school on time?

Early adolescent – If I do something my parent doesn’t like, will they still love me?

Teen– Is my parent’s love really unconditional? If I miss curfew will they still love me? What if I lie or do something I regret? Will they distance or disown me?

It is not easy, but do we as parents pass these tests?

Increase Connection


When our patience is stretched to the limit, sometimes the last thing we want is to ask for our child’s time. We may just want to run away physically or emotionally and just get some space,
but that only creates distance. Connection is increased when things get hard and we don’t go anywhere. This action proves to our teen that no matter how tough it gets, they are not alone in the struggle.
Check in with your child, ask about their day and really listen. Ask open ended questions instead of ones that elicit a yes/no response. For example ‘what are your thoughts about prom?’ rather
than ‘do you think you want to go to Prom this year?’ Even if the response initially is ‘nothing’ or ‘I dunno’ you are opening the door for them to share when they want to. If you ask the second
question you are opening yourself up for the yea/nay response.
Look your child in the eyes. It is that simple. I believe that parents have a ‘sixth sense’ when it comes to their children. You will see if your child is happy or hurting by looking in their eyes. Research also shows that just like infants, looking teens in the eye increases attachment
connection and security.


To recap, here are the few small things you can do that will increase overall connection.

  • Stay (they are not alone)
  • Check in (even if the response is undesirable, this shows that you are aware of them)
  • Look them in the eyes

Balance Expectations and Demandingness


The optimal parenting style is Authoritative parenting. This type of parenting is a balance of demandingness/expectation and connection. When kids and teens have both unconditional positive regard and family guidelines, they thrive. It is difficult to take a look at ourselves, but
the other three parenting types come with negative behaviors and effects so in the long run this balance is worth the introspection. Thankfully therapy and parenting support can help with this!

Learn to Manage own Emotions and Decrease Reactivity


Many parents that I see question, ‘am I the problem?’ The answer is …yes..but no.. kinda? I’ll explain. When we use our children’s moods and behavior to dictate our own, we have a high level or emotional reactivity. If our children are ‘monkey see..monkey do’ they will exhibit the
same behavior, and both of you will likely be bouncing your anxiety and stress back and forth off of each other. I read a quote once that said, when little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not to join their chaos.” – L.R. Knost. If you find that you rely on your teens for emotional support, regulation, or that you are extra sensitive to their moods, come in and let’s work on this together!


Parents, we can do this! You are not alone, and it is possible to connect and improve relationships with your teen. They need you!


Have more questions? Contact Connections Family Wellness to talk with our client care coordinator and schedule your first session today!

How To Know When It’s Time To Start Seeing A Therapist

How To Know When It’s Time To Start Seeing A Therapist

Are you wondering how to know when it is time to start seeing a therapist?  Sometimes it can be hard to tell if the thoughts or feelings that we are having are normal.  Knowing when to seek professional help can be a challenge.  Here are a few signs that it might be a good time to make that first appointment to talk to a professional:

  1. Your psychological health is starting to affect your physical health.

Physical aches and pains such as stomach aches or headaches can sometimes stem from mental health related issues.  It is always best to visit a doctor to rule out any medical problems first.  If there are no known medical issues, your doctor may recommend that you meet with a therapist.  Depression, anxiety, and stress can present themselves in physical symptoms, and working with a therapist can help you start to feel better.

  1. Your symptoms are starting to get in the way of your everyday life.

Some common symptoms of mental health issues that you may see in your everyday life could be difficulty focusing, having a hard time controlling your emotions, or decreased productivity.  If your stress, anxiety, or depression is preventing you from completing your day to day responsibilities, it could be a good idea to talk to a professional.

  1. Your sleep schedule is off.

Struggling to fall asleep at night?  Sleeping way more than you should be?  Insomnia and oversleeping are both symptoms related to our overall mental health.  Talking to a therapist can help you work through some of your issues and get your sleep schedule back on track.

  1. You are frequently using unhealthy ways to cope.

Sometimes when we have negative thoughts and hard emotions we can start to cope with them in unhealthy ways.  Some examples of this could be excessive drinking or oversleeping.  Avoiding your problems can sometimes make them worse.  If you notice yourself trying to avoid the hard things in life by using unhealthy coping methods, it could be a good time to seek help.

  1. Your emotional state is starting to impact your relationships.

When your emotions are all over the place it can take a toll on the relationships in your life.  You could be feeling distant, quick to anger, or just not like yourself.  When you are not feeling your best it can be hard to put energy into your relationships.  Seeing a therapist is a good way to improve your mental health and help you improve your relationships.

If you aren’t sure if you should see a therapist or not, it will never hurt to give it a try.  Speaking with a mental health professional doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.  It takes so much strength to reach out for help.  If you can relate to any of these experiences we recommend reaching out to a therapist near you.  

Connections Family Wellness uses a collaborative approach to create individualized plans for each of our clients.  We are now taking clients in Logan, Utah and South Jordan Utah.  Call to set up your initial appointment with us today! (801) 871-5118