Holiday Tips Catered to Your Attachment Style

Holiday Tips Catered to Your Attachment Style, Good Things Utah Segment

By: Ashley & Laurin, CEOs


What is“Attachment”?

We all have an innate desire to connect with others and feel a sense of belonging, we first begin to learn how to attach at birth from our two primary caregivers. This is essentially what sets the tone of how you manage and engage in relationships through adulthood.

What is an “Attachment Style”?

There are four basic styles of attachment: Secure (this is the goal), Anxious (clingy, needy), Avoidant (surface connection), Disorganized (I need you but don’t come too close).

Holiday Tips for Anxious Attachment:

  • Maintain sense of self
    • People Pleasing habits may get in the way of wanting others’ approval, instead doing activities you love to maintain a sense of self.
  • Practice Personal Boundaries
    • Controlled detachment to allow yourself to enjoy the emotional aspects of the holidays while not trying to control the outcome

Holiday Tips for Avoidant Attachment:

  • Look for and focus on the elements you love about the holidays
    • Try not to overthink about the hesitations you may have about one thing or another, rather look forward to an individual you are excited to see, the festive foods, or the quirky holiday music.
  • Plan social engagement/conversations.
    • If you know who will be attending the event, plan things you would like to know about them and have follow up questions, closing questions and perhaps some ways to excuse yourself (learn to organically lead and close conversations)
  • Reward yourself with alone time
    • You may feel overwhelmed after socializing so much so plan to relax after you event and that may help you in feeling more motivated to go

Holiday Tips for Disorganized Attachment:

  • Start small!
    • Plan to meet up with family before a bigger event, connect with someone you are comfortable with first at the party
  • Remember to not accept your fears about what may happen as fact
    • Try to see yourself in a positive light, Fear: “I will be so awkward, nobody will want to talk to me”. Challenge the Fear: “People have talked to me at these events in the past, there is no reason why this time will be different.”.
  • You do not have to do it all, Protect Your Mental Health
    • Use your best judgment to know if a certain event will be beneficial to you (and your family), it does not matter the pressure or guilt you may be receiving from others- make you a priority. 

To learn more about these things, how to better apply them, or how to apply these tips and tricks to help your kids and grandkids visit our website and read more on our blog.

We also offer in person and telehealth appointments to help individuals, couples and families to achieve their goals.

Overcoming Holiday Burnout

Overcoming Holiday Burnout

By: Kyra Littledike, CSW, Logan Office Therapist

Do the holidays not seem to be as magical as they once were? Do you feel more dread than joy as you watch the holiday decorations and festivities make their re-appearance?

It is no secret that the holiday season can be both a happy and overwhelming time for everyone. However, they can be more overwhelming and difficult for those who are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and grief.

In preparation for the 2022 holiday season, we want to give you five tips to help you avoid holiday burnout so you can be more present and engaged with the ones you love.

Tip #1: You Can Say No

It is important to be realistic in the expectations you have for yourself and others in periods of increased stress. The holidays can demand more time and money than we may really have to offer. Though it is uncomfortable, it is okay to say no and set limits on what you can/are willing to do. It is okay if you cannot realistically attend the three holiday parties you were invited to or buy a present for every house in your neighborhood.

Tip #2: Take Breaks

Having more on your holiday to-do list and a jam-packed schedule full of holiday activities naturally steals away from downtime. Be intentional about scheduling some breaks, even if it is just to watch your favorite Christmas movie.

Time with family also increases during the holiday season. While this is a fun time to reconnect with those we may not see often, it can result in conflict and boundary violations. When anxiety or frustration may start to rise, take a ten-to-fifteen-minute break or walk outside to regulate.

Tip #3: Create/Maintain Traditions

Family and personal traditions bring a lot of excitement and meaning to the holiday season. Prioritizing meaningful traditions can help you in building connections and bring you closer to the ones you love. Choose to create and maintain traditions that spark joy and excitement within you. They will likely create memories that you will lovingly reflect on even when the season is over.

Tip #4: Take Care of Yourself

As the stress of the holiday season increases, self-care can quickly decrease. Staying emotionally regulated and completing the tasks and demands of the season are going to feel impossible if you are not fully rested, providing your body with the nutrition it needs, and staying hydrated. Even taking time to exercise thirty minutes a day, can help in improving mood, increasing motivation, and decreasing potential holiday weight gain.

Tip #5: Ask for Help

The holidays are more enjoyable when surrounded by the ones you love. Do not be afraid to reach out and ask those around you for help. We do not have to do things alone and often there is someone that is ready and willing to help; we just have to ask. The professionals at Connections Family Wellness are also here to help you in managing your holiday blues.

For additional information, you can contact us at (801) 871-5118.

We wish you a happy holiday season!